I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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