Im at strip club and am horny
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
