She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I need a beard to bite.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
