Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
