Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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