i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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