Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
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