im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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