Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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