Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
it's like iHOP with fire
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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