Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
