dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
