I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
He felt like a one man threesome
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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