He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize