you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
