now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize