you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Even my vagina gasped.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
