you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
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