Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
