he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
