So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
