my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
