Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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