Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize