So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
