I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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