um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize