What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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