I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
