i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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