talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
