I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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