hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize