i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
