That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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