hell yes lets make some ravioli
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
