The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
