nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Randomize
