why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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