My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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