and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize