thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
