clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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