Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
