just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
