I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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