Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
