So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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