can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
