What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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