Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
