shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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