just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
