Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
