I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
