Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
