Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
