Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
