the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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