I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
