dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
