I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
