Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
