If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
