Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize