Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize