I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
