Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
